


Fallen Love.

by Tillymint



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 08:22:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12186414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tillymint/pseuds/Tillymint





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of Autumn hung in the air. The sound of birds was the only noise to be heard for miles. The house was still. No sound at all. A lone figure stood starring out of the bay window at the far end of a living room. The figure stood still like stone. Breathing slowly in and out. A single tear running down their cheek. Despite this the figure remained stone like. The tear fell silently to the floor. Only one tear fell but still the figure remained in the same spot. The wind outside the window seemed to pick up causing the red leaves on the tree to fall to the ground, making a slight noise which caused the figure to move a fraction.  
In the hand, a small envelope was held tightly. The paper was crumpled in the small feminine hand. That envelope had been placed in that hand almost two hours ago by someone she didn't know. Although she didn't know them, she knew what it meant. She was not ready to open that envelope, to let all that hurt invade her life. She wanted a way to forget, a way to not face the future but to live in the past. She didn't know how to move from the position she found herself. She wanted time to stand still. To keep her and her memories in tact and preserve her love forever.  
Still stone like at the window she allowed her mind to think back, to remember times that were happy. It was like her mind was playing her life story back to her. It took her a little time to realise she only felt her life had began when she met Berenice Wolfe. Yes, Serena Campbell, had lived a full life up until meeting her, but she was the start of the rest of her life. Now here she stood, alone in their house, staring out at the world outside, playing the memories of her life. No emotion showed on her face.  
The memories passed through her mind quickly, their first encounter together at the hospital, all the first kisses that never were, the meeting of Alex, of Marcus, of Charlotte, Cameron, Elinor and Jason. Thinking of Jason, made Serena's mouth twitch ever so slightly, not enough to say there was a smile but there was something.  
Her memories quickly passed over the trip to Kiev Bernie took and her own sabbatical that she took, instead she focused on the memories she had when she returned. It was like meeting Bernie all over again, dating, just having fun, then it became serious, the moving in together, first into Serena's house, then into the one she stood in today, a joint house, theirs together. The thought of Serena asking Bernie to marry her, how she had felt and looked when she asked her in their garden right under the tree that stood so high in their garden. The tree now that Serena's gaze was fixated on. The memories appeared to be slowing in Serena's mind now.  
She saw them try to plan a wedding but was interrupted by the memory of Bernie telling her she had been called by the Army, she was needed. This sole memory made her angry, she knew it was her fault. Bernie only went back to the Army when she left for her sabbatical, if she had only stayed or took her with her, she would be with her now, they would be married. Her memories ended as she saw a flash of Bernie walking out the door after kissing her goodbye, the final picture she saw was two service personal handing her the envelope she was holding.  
Serena seemed to remember where she was, still holding the envelope tightly she sighed. She watched the leaves fall from the tree, she watched them land softly on the ground. She still held tightly to the envelope not wanting to find out what was inside. She controlled her breathed as she unclenched her first and looked at the envelope. She glanced out the window one final time and watched a lone silver feather fall from above and land perfectly still beside her on the window frame.  
She carefully opened the envelope wanting to read the news about her fallen love.


	2. Chapter 2

She held the open envelope in her left hand. She couldn’t bring herself to draw out the piece of paper inside. Instead she altered her position. Serena moved from the window and without realising it had found herself upstairs in the room Bernie had claimed as her office. Serena remembered laughing when Bernie had staked her claim on the room. Neither had any reason to need an office but she didn’t complain or try to poach from Bernie, Serena was just happy that they had their own place.  
She lowered herself onto the leather chair that Bernie had bought on one of their many shopping trips to antique houses. Serena traced her finger along the lip of the oak desk and onto the draw handles. She traced the golden handles and slowly pulled open the top draw, revealing what she already suspected, a mess of crumpled papers. Bernie was never tidy or organised. Her desk reminded Serena of their time working together in the hospital, she was always the tidy one, something which was also the case in their relationship.  
She was about to shut the door when something caught her eye. Reaching down with her right hand, she pulled out a small box, gift wrapped in a blue paper complete with gold bow. She eyed the tag attached, it was for her, from Bernie. She set it on the desk and starred at it. This small blue box had her sole focus.   
She relaxed back into the chair and realised that she still had the envelope in her left hand. She closed her eyes and thought of Bernie. A warm sensation ran through her body. She remembered the happiness that she felt with her every day. She allowed herself to think, of nothing but Bernie.  
It felt like hours had passed before Serena opened her eyes again, however when she glanced at the clock on the left side of the wall she realised it was a matter of minutes and those minutes hadn’t changed anything. She was still holding the envelope that had been delivered by the Army. Bernie wasn’t around and she was alone.   
She remembered this feeling, she had felt it before, when Elinor died. That was a bleak time in her life. There were times when she never thought she would get through it. There was one person that pulled her through, that person was Bernie. She had put up with Serena leaving and had welcomed her back with open arms when she returned.  
She blinked away the memories finding something else in the room to take her focus. Her eyes locked onto the black and white photo that Bernie kept on her desk. The photo of the two of them, looking completely in love and oblivious that the photo was taken.   
Serena once again let her mind drift to the time the photo was taken. It had been a cold afternoon not long after they had moved in. They had invited their friends around to see the new place, everyone was there, Jason, Fletcher and the children, Raf, Morven, Dom, Ric, Henrik, Cameron and Charlotte. Even Alex came, Bernie had thought it was weird at first that Serena had become close friends with the first woman that she had been with but in time she had come round to the idea. The three of them had become good friends and it never seemed awkward.   
They had all been site in the garden, Fletch had decided that a barbeque would be a great way to celebrate the new house and had offered to cook, something that neither Bernie or Serena could turn down.   
Drinks had been flowing throughout the day and with the amount of guest they had Bernie and Serena felt like they hadn’t seen each other. Finally when everyone was eating they managed to steal a couple of precious moments together, under the huge oak tree in the garden. They were leaning closely into each other, both with drinks in hand. Serena spoke softly to Bernie and said something to make her throw her head back and laugh the most delicious laugh that Serena had ever heard in turn making her smile the most genuine smile. It was at this exact moment Evie had taken a picture. It was weeks later Bernie and Serena had been presented with it but they loved and Bernie kept the image on her desk to remember what she described as a perfect afternoon.  
The memory of the afternoon brought tears to Serena’s eyes, she moved both hands towards her eyes to wipe away the tears but she realised that she still held the envelope in her hand. Still unread.  
It was now that time stood still, the blackness of the letters danced around on the contrast of the sole piece of A4 white paper that Serena held so tightly in her hands. She looked at the letters on the page, not reading what the letters spelt. Her gaze finally focusing one word. Missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback is greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

Missing. Missing. Missing? The words boldly stood out from the contrast of the white paper. Serena's mind scrambled the letters again. There was no other word it could be. It definitely said missing. Not dead. Missing. Bernie was missing, surely that meant she's still alive. Serena took a sharp intake of breath. The tears starting to pour from her eyes. One single word could cause such emotions. Emotions that Serena never knew existed. Her mind racing with thoughts. She managed to slow her breathing enough to read the rest of the letter. Her eyes darted from left to right. Her eyes focusing on the words.   
There had been an explosion and people where still unaccounted for at the camp Bernie had volunteered at. Bernie was one still unaccounted for. The letter signed off suggesting that someone would be in touch with more information as soon as it was available. There was no contact number. The tears continued to fall silently. The paper slowly dropped to the floor.   
It seemed to take a couple of minutes for the information to kick in. When it did it was like a switch had been flicked. Serena moved with pace. Searching for her mobile, she needed to let Bernie's children know. She had a great relationship with both Charlotte and Cameron, she knew how upset they would be with the news. She searched high and low, looking everywhere she could think of, still no sign of her phone.   
It wasn't long before her phone seemed to find her, well, it started to ring. She rushed to the sofa, the ringing was coming from behind the cushion. Checking the ID see saw the familiar number of the hospital flash on the screen. She didn't want to speak to anyone yet. She ignored the call, instead she keyed in Cameron's number. There was no answer. She keyed in Charlottes number, again no answer. She needed to see them. She pulled on her coat and grabbed her car keys.   
Serena started on the familiar drive to Cameron's. The road feeling like second nature to her now. It was a route that her and Bernie had taken many times before. Usually Bernie would drive and sing all the way making Serena laugh the whole way. That all felt like a distant memory now. The thought of it made Serena's heart feel like it was breaking. She blinked away the tears. Focusing all her attention on the road ahead.   
About ten miles from Cameron's her phone starting to ring again, she saw through the hands free it was the hospital again. Again she rejected the call. Within a couple of minutes, it rang again. Again she rejected it. She pulled up outside Cameron's house just as the phone rang again. She through it into her bag and just let it ring off. The house appeared in darkness. Serena held her breath as she knocked on the door. She needed to see him. She needed to see part of Bernie. The door opened revealing an emotional looking Cameron. He saw Serena and through his arms around her. Serena collapsed into his arms. He held her close before pulling her inside.   
She saw Charlotte sat in the front room and rushed to sit by her. She pulled Cameron close and held onto both of them. Grasping them tightly by the hand. Serena had thrown her bag on the floor once she had got through the door. She could again hear her phone ringing. They all looked across at the bag as it rang off. Within seconds it had started again. This time it couldn't be ignored. Serena looked at the ID, she noticed she had fifteen texts from Henrik, ten from Ric, six missed calls from the hospital and seventeen from Fletch. She had only heard it ring a few. She was shocked by the amount she had.  
She answered. A familiar voice greeted her. Henrik. He didn't say much. Serena didn't say anything. They stayed on the phone less than sixty seconds. With tears rolling down her face she turned to face Cameron and Charlotte. Her face pale. She stammered. Unable to get her words out. She fell to her knees. The words from Henrik ringing in her ears. "She's gravely injured but she's on her way to us".


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting two chapters in one day, couldn't sleep and I had a thought of where to go next with this story.

Serena manged to get herself to the hospital in record time. She wasn’t sure exactly how she had got there she was just noticing the familiar surroundings of the entrance to the hospital when she was greeted by a familiar friend. Henrik.  
He didn’t speak, just held out his arm, inviting Serena in. She had only known this once and that was when Elinor had died. She didn’t need to speak. She just needed comfort. His words from the last phone call ringing through her head. Bernie was on her way to here. Here at the hospital where they had first met.  
Serena was the first to break the silence.

“Have they given you any specifics?” She asked, only briefly moving her position from Henrik. She felt his body stiffen and a sudden intake of breath.

“The call I took identified an injured solider who had details of this hospital on her” Henrik replied. Serena could sense he was withholding something.

“Do not spare me any of the details Henrik. I need to know.”

He once again took his breath in, “they have said there is extensive head injuries, it is touch and go. They are aware of the cutting-edge neuro ward with have and what with the paper stating a connection to the hospital they decided to transfer to us”.

Henrik felt Serena heavy in his arms, he shouldered her full weight, letting the information sink. 

“But how can she be on the way here now, I only got the letter saying she was missing earlier today?” Serena asked, so many thoughts running through her mind.  
“From what I can gather that letter was supposed to have reached you two days ago. I cannot explain the reason for the delay Serena but I know they have told me she will arrive within the hour” he looked at his watch, “which we are approaching the end of the hour, she should be here very shortly.”

Serena said nothing, she took little comfort in knowing her friend was there for her, but rage had filled her mind, Bernie had been missing and it had taken two days for anyone to notify her. The thoughts of rage still filled her mind when she heard the distant sounds of a siren. She knew it was close.  
Like a well-oiled machine the entrance was suddenly filled with medics from all specialities. Serena was grateful to see the best of the best out in force. She never once left her safety net of Henrik’s arms. She thought of Cameron and Charlotte, who after a quick debate decided to follow behind Serena, she still couldn’t see them however.  
The ambulance pulled up and everyone sprang to action, the doors flung open and consultants seemed to pile in. Serena had tried to push her way into the front, to see her love, but she had been held back.  
All the commotion seemed to stop as the trolley was removed from the back of the ambulance, Ric looking directly at Henrik and Serena.

“It’s not Bernie” Ric said.

It’s not Bernie was the last thing Serena heard as she fell to the ground.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update. Didn't want to keep anyone too stressed.

A sudden flash of panic filled everyone. They expected Bernie. This person lying in front of them certainly wasn't Bernie. She was brunette for a start. Serena came round after a few minutes. The look of heartache etched on her face. 

It wasn't Bernie. It wasn't her Bernie. Everyone got to work. Moving like a well oiled machine. Serena refused to enter the hospital. Instead she sat on the bench overlooking the front as she had many a times before after a bad shift. 

She didn't move for hours. Pull moved around her. People came and people went, still she remained as still as stone. Henrik, her trusted friend, suddenly appeared next to her. Holding a cup of steaming coffee. Not a word was exchanged. The silence some what comforting. More minutes passed with just the two of them. He slowly reached across and squeezed her hand, this brought a little comfort to Serena. She looked across at his face. Rage filled Serena. He was smiling. How could he smile after today, her love was still missing, his very dear friend. Serena was just about to say something when he nodded his head in the direction behind her. Serena didn't realise she responded by turning her head. Stood there looking bruised and battered was Bernie, staring straight at her.


	6. Chapter 6

Serena had never moved so quick, within seconds she had leapt to her feet and running straight to Bernie who in turn started to run to Serena. The moment the reach each they embraced each other so tightly, neither wanting to let go. Serena breathed in the scent of her lover, the smell which she thought she would never smell again, the touch she thought she would never feel again. The relief hit her like a tidal wave, suddenly consuming her she held Bernie at arm’s length, just wanting to check that this was real and that her mind was not playing tricks on her.

“Bernie?” Serena asked, maintaining eye contact always. 

“Yes? Serena are you ok?” 

Serena couldn’t speak, instead she pulled Bernie closer. She became aware of a presence behind her, then she felt a touch on her arm.

“Serena, I think you need to let Bernie breathe and looking at her I think she might need a check over” Henrik whispered. A smile aimed in Bernie’s direction. 

Serena pulled away, knowing that Henrik was right. He took this moment that the pair parted to offer a friendly hug to Bernie who obliged.

“You don’t look well Bernie” Henrik said almost silently, making sure Serena didn’t hear.

“I don’t feel so good, I need a full work up but Serena doesn’t need to know” Bernie responded.

Henrik didn’t reply, instead he squeezed her tighter for a second or two and parted. He turned to face Serena, “you need to call Cameron and Charlotte”.   
Serena nodded, “but I can’t leave Bernie” she directed at Henrik. “I can’t leave you” she said to Bernie. 

Bernie nodded, “Serena, I know you received a letter saying I was missing, I can’t imagine how that felt and I will explain but right now I need you to call Cameron for me. If I hear his voice right now, I’m not sure I can control my emotions. They need to know I am ok and you are the best to explain that” Bernie almost pleaded edging closer to Henrik in tiny steps, not enough for Serena to notice. 

Henrik placed his arm subtly behind Bernie’s back for support, she appreciated the feeling of stability, the support. 

“I am going to go and get cleaned up, I will meet you inside” Bernie said and moved closer to embrace Serena. “I love you” she whispered. 

Serena responded with the same, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. Bernie turned to walk towards the entrance leaving Serena standing watching, looking for her phone ready to call Cameron. 

“Henrik, is she still looking?” Bernie asked as her walking started to slow.

He slyly turned his head and shock it. “No” was the only response.

“In that case, catch me” 

He did just that. Bernie collapsed into his arms. 

“Can I have some help please, and please nobody say anything to Serena yet until we know what’s is going on.”

The team once again sprung to action. Bernie was almost safely out of view in the hospital when Serena turned around.

The colour drained from her cheeks, the phone in her hand dropped to the floor, her legs running at a speed she never knew possible. 

“Bernie!” she screamed.

Henrik stopped her. 

“Serena, looking at her she needs a full assessment but you saw the same as did I. She has been through a lot in the last however many days, she had travelled for hours, she looks unwell. She looks malnourished and dehydrated. It’s taken its toll on her. Let the doctors check her over. We will see the results as soon as they are back.”

Serena knew he was right. Bernie looked terrible, she hadn’t wanted to admit it. She knew she needed looking at, medical attention, but she was just so happy to see her. 

Serena was pacing the floor when she received a call from AAU.

“Serena?” came a croaky voice from the other line. “Come and see me?” came Bernie’s weak voice.


	7. Chapter 7

Serena didn’t need to hear another word. She was down in AAU in an instant, frantically searching for Bernie. She checked behind every curtain, in every side room but she wasn’t there. She felt her heart racing. Where was she? 

“Serena?” 

Her breathing slowed. It was Bernie’s voice, she turned in the direction it came from. Serena couldn’t believe what she saw. Stood in the doorway of the consultant’s office was Bernie, complete in scrubs.

For once Serena was lost for words. After everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, here Bernie stood as if it was a normal day.Bernie saw the look of concern on her face.

“I am ok Serena. I am here, look.” Bernie said holding out her hand.

“But…you collapsed Bernie, I was told you were missing, then you are here and then, I don’t know. My whole life stood still after finding out you were missing. I thought you were dead” Serena said so quickly Bernie struggled to catch every word.

“Serena, I am so sorry…”

Serena held her hand up. “You don’t need to apologise. I am just so happy that you are safe. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Now what did the doctor say?”

Bernie’s expression changed. She tried not to show her emotions on her face.

“Dehydration. Fluids needed” Bernie said trying to convince herself as well as Serena. 

Serena saw the look of terror on Bernie’s face, she wanted to challenge her but knew that this wasn’t the time. She was in the best possible place. Surrounded by some of the best doctors in the country, she knew she would be safe. She decided to just comfort her instead.   
They spent the next hour or so in the office, just happy to be in the company of each other. There was some communication but neither wanting to say too much.  
It was weird for Bernie being back in the hospital. Serena had returned after her sabbatical but Bernie had left shortly before this and although back in the country, she had never returned. She felt a pang of guilt at leaving this place, of the wonderful people that worked with her.

She was about to speak when there was a knock at the door. 

“Come” Serena shouted. She kept her hand in Bernie’s. 

As the door opened Serena was the first to see Jac and Henrik stood in front of them. She noticed their faces.

“Henrik? What is this?” Serena couldn’t keep the panic from her face. Bernie sat quietly next to Serena, hand in hand. She knew. She didn’t want to say or admit it but she knew.

Henrik let Jac enter the room before him and closed the door behind his back.

“Jac, what’s going on? Why are you here? Please someone speak?” The frustration in her voice noticeable.

All three looked at Bernie. The paleness still in her face. Her breathing a little slower than normal. Serena noticed that it had been slowing since she got there. She hadn’t realised. She had now.

“No, no, no” Serena cried. 

Bernie squeezed her hand tighter.

“I’ll be ok, I have the best surgeon ever to look after me” Bernie whispered. 

Serena looked up at Jac. She noticed the emotionless face and her heart felt like it was in her mouth.

“Bernie, we really need to get you into surgery” Jac said.

Bernie nodded, Serena noticed things were rapidly declining. Henrik turned to leave closing the door behind him, leaving the three girls together. 

“The scans don’t look great Bernie, but I am confident that surgery is the best option. Now with every surgery there is a risk, I know you are aware.” 

“Please Jac, don’t. I can’t bear to hear it” Serena said tears rolling down her cheeks. Bernie held her hand tighter trying to comfort her.

“I am strong remember Serena, I can get through this, but I need to go now.” Bernie stuttered.

Before Serena answered Henrik had returned with a wheelchair.

“Right, Bernie, we need to take you now” he said, almost telling her as if she had no option.

Bernie agreed and nodded. It took both Jac and Serena to help her move across, Serena hadn’t realised how weak Bernie appeared. 

“Please stay down here, I don’t want you to watch the surgery. I don’t want to put you through that” Bernie said between breathes. 

Serena was about to protest, she wanted nothing more than to stay by her side but she knew better. She respected Bernie enough to listen. She nodded and kissed her partner.

“Now” Henrik said quickly, as Bernie’s breathing slowed even more.

“I will be back” Bernie said through her gasping breathes to Serena.

“I hope so” came the reply.


	8. Chapter 8

After leaving Serena Bernie was rushed into Darwin theatre by the time they arrived she was in a worsened condition but it didn't stop her giving orders.   
"Henrik, please stay with Serena. We all know she will end up watching the surgery in the end. Please just stay with her and let her know I love her" Henrik nodded and turned away, not wanting to show his emotions.   
"Jac, please don't let me die" Bernie almost pleaded.   
Jac would be the first to admit she appeared cold but something in the way Bernie's voice said that but so much emotion to her heart.   
"You'll be fine. I'm not in the habit of letting people die."  
Bernie nodded. No other words where needed. Within seconds the anaesthetic had been administered and Bernie was under.   
Jac started cutting, everything going well. It was a procedure that she had down thousands of times in the past she could do in her sleep.   
Henrik kept his promise and stayed by Serena's side throughout. Three hours had past before Serena couldn't take it anymore. She had promised Bernie but she knew she needed to be there. Needed to be by her side.   
She rushed to theatre, to the observation area closely followed by Henrik. When she got there she was shocked. It felt as though she had been punched in the gut.   
Blood covered the theatre floor, there was panicking everywhere.   
"Jac, talk to me. What's happening" Serena shouted through the intercom.   
Jac did her best to ignore her and concentrate on her work.   
"Jac?" She shouted.   
This broke her focus. "The surgery was textbook, apart from when trying to close her. She lost a lot of blood. We are finding it difficult to come of bypass" Jac explained, emotion free from her voice.   
She tried again. The alarms continued to beep showing her heart was making no effort.   
"Bernie" Serena screamed. "Fight this".   
All of a sudden there was a rhythmic beat.   
"We have her"


	9. Chapter 9

“She will be ok” Serena kept repeating to herself. She knew Bernie was strong and she knew she was a fighter. She just needed her to wake up.   
Serena had been by her bedside for twenty four hours and Bernie had shown no signs of waking up. Serena knew this was to be expected, she knew the medical science behind everything but yet as a family member there was little comfort.   
She watched as her colleagues and patients continued with their lives. She felt a pang of jealous and she felt guilty for it. She wanted, no she needed Bernie to wake up. She had longed for her so much before they first got together, she had felt like the luckiest person alive when they had their first date. Serena couldn’t remember a time without Bernie and she definitely didn’t want to imagine a future without her either.   
Serena held tightly to Bernie’s hand. Caressing the side of her thumb.   
“Bernie, please wake up. My life was thrown upside down when you flew into my life but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’ve made me a better person. You’ve made me enjoy life again. You know I need you more than anything in this world. My heart still skips a beat when I see you, I have butterflies everyone we met. I smile from ear to ear whenever anyone mentions your name. I can never contain my love or pride at being with you. I love you with all my heart”  
“I love you too” came a very week reply.   
Serena’s eyes shot to Bernie’s face, she hadn’t looked at her while speaking.   
“Bernie. You’re awake” Serena gasped.   
Bernie gave a smile the best she could. She saw tears rolling down Serena’s face.   
“I couldn’t leave you now could I” she smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sure whether or not to leave as a one shot. I do have another idea if anyone wants me to carry it on?


End file.
